Happy long weekend.. Our p-day is today because all of the libraries were closed yesterday. It's been a long week, I'm grateful for this p-day!
This week has been interesting. I think that I was under the impression that in the last 6 weeks of my mission I would feel like I've got this whole missionary thing down and just feel super confident in my abilities. To be honest, in the past week I've kind of felt the opposite. We had 2 exchanges with different sister companionships and I was just like, I'm your sister training leader but.. quite honestly, I feel like I don't know what I'm doing.
I think some of these feelings of inadequacy stemmed from the fact that Sister Leung and I have been struggling to find new investigators. We literally talk with EVERYONE. But nobody responds very well to us and it was pretty discouraging. On Saturday I was on an exchange with a sister from Edmonton, her name is Sister Raymant. Sister Raymant and I were walking down the street and she said hi to a group of black guys, and they said hi back and I felt an impression to go and talk to them. So, we turned around and talked to them. Nothing really came from the conversation, other than clearing up misconceptions about our church. I felt kind of confused as to why I felt like we needed to talk with them.
We continued on and went to tract in a neighbourhood. This neighbourhood is beautiful! I loved it.. But, here's a sad fact for you.. I always dread going into a neighbourhood because I know that if they are nice homes and the people have nice cars, more often than not they are not very nice to us. It's sad because it is so evident that often times those who are blessed enough to be comfortable materially often have no desire to strengthen their relationship with God, because they don't feel like they need Him.
Later on in the day, we had a lesson that ended earlier than we had anticipated. I felt that we should go drop by one of our investigators. We went to her house, but no one was home. As we were leaving the building we heard someone call out to us and ask if we went to the church on Ossington Ave. We approached the man and Sister Raymant recognized him as one of the men that was in the group of black guys that we were talking to earlier in the afternoon. He introduced himself and said that he had been to our church before. As we talked with him we learned that he was being taught by missionaries in Brampton a few years ago and was preparing for baptism. He said that the missionaries he met with were transferred and then he moved to Toronto shortly after. Sister Raymant and I invited him to meet with us and prepare once again to be baptized, and he said yes! He also wanted us to meet with his wife, and he took us over to meet his friend, Francis who also became a new investigator.
I learned two very important things from this experience. The first was, that I needed to repent and humble myself to remember that our desires, regardless of how righteous they might be, will be fulfilled in the Lord's time and in accordance to His will. I had been frustrated all week because I was placing more trust in myself than I was in the Lord. Everything that had happened in that day led us to be in the right place and at the right time so that we could find Michael. It is in moments like this where I am in awe of the goodness of our Heavenly Father and in His love.
The second thing that I learned was that we need to act on the impressions we receive and to trust in them, even if the outcome we expect doesn't immediately manifest itself. When I walked up to that group of guys I think I half-expected to give some eloquent sermon and gain 5 new investigators right then and there, and then later when we went to drop by our investigator I think I expected her to be home and to have an awesome lesson with her to keep her progressing in her faith. Neither of those things happened, but I was diligent in following the guidance that the Spirit gave me and because of that, we were rewarded in a better way than I had expected.
Mom reminded me today in her e-mail that I have 6 weeks until I am home. Truly, that seems insane to me. It seems far but so close at the same time. All I know is that I'm grateful for the time I have left to be able to be on the Lord's errand. There are truly miracles in every single day and I am so humbled to be able to experience them, and to learn from them. Missionary work is truly one of the happiest things we can do. :)
Me dashuri te madhe,
Motra Vermunt
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